The Beautiful Ordinary

Yesterday morning I realized something – Wednesday night was our last ‘normal’ suppertime in this house.  From now on, there will be guests and special events and grad dinners, then packing.

Our last supper happened without any fanfare – we ate our soup and cornbread and passed the salt and Tabasco and discussed the minutiae of the day, and then it was done. 

And now I feel a little bit sad that I didn’t ‘mark the moment’ so to speak, but let it pass unnoticed.  I’m a little bit disappointed in myself, because I am in full Sentimental Mode right now as we wrap up our time in Indonesia.  I could give Hallmark Channel a run for their money. They would cower in my sentimental presence.  Everything is special. Everything is memorable. Everything deserves to be photographed and cried over. Let’s just say it’s a bad week to run out of waterproof mascara.

I wish I could face these last few weeks in Papua insouciantly, without a care, without the need to stop and take stock of each moment, each ‘last’ – but I seem incapable.  I’m doing well with the big things – the kids’ last band concert, the last prayer time with our Indonesian MAF coworkers, my last writers group, etc.

But it’s the day to day moments I also want to remember, the ones that often go overlooked - the small tasks and conversations that make up a life, so beautiful even in their ordinariness.

I’ve had people say to me ‘Your life must be so exciting’ and there are certainly times like that. Mountaintop, euphoric moments, the ones we put in frames around our house and talk about in newsletters. 

But mostly life is made up of ordinary – even boring - moments, one after another – a trip to the pasar, walking down the hill to see my kids off to school, hanging the laundry and watching jets take off, shooing the dog off the porch, sweeping ants (yes, I sweep ants),  helping with homework, coffee with a friend. And a million others.

Have you ever had an existential moment where you stop and think, “I am living in the ‘good ol’ days’ right now”? That some day, some future you will look back at your present and say, “That time – those were golden years.” I have felt that way from time to time about our years in Indonesia, that these are the days we’ll look back on with fondness when we’re 90 and in our rockers.

So here are a few photos of our beautiful ordinary from 'the good ol' days'...

 

Waiting for the school taxi

The taxi takes off, with Zoe in the back. The kids gripe about it, but I tell them they need something to tell their kids about one day.

Charley on my favorite stretch of road

The always-colorful pasar

Hiking with friends

What about Indonesia?

In a few weeks, our family will be leaving Indonesia, this time with one-way tickets.  Someone sent me a color-coded ‘feelings wheel’ that shows the range of human emotion.  I think this upcoming move has produced every one of those feelings in me, from red angry to blue sad and everything in between.

This blog, Borneo Mama, will soon shut down.  I don’t yet know with what, if anything, I will replace it, but for now I still have a few posts in me.  Here is today’s…

Recently, I was reading a Reader’s Digest article about the ingredients of apple pie and how un-American the origins actually are. Wheat flour from Russia, apples from Kazakhstan, the recipe itself from Great Britain and Germany, and spices and sugar from Indonesia. After reading the article, I studied the article’s accompanying graphic, a picture of an apple pie with flags representing all these countries contributing to the iconic apple pie.

Seven flags were shown, and not one of them was Indonesia’s.

Grrrrr, I thought. How hard would it be to include the Indonesian flag? I mean, it’s a major contributor to apple pie – what would apple pie be without sugar and cloves and nutmeg???

The offending graphic

I had those same thoughts again when I sat down with our family’s page-a-day calendar, which this year is Atlas Obscura Extraordinary Destinations.  I thought for sure that Indonesia would be represented at least once.  But by mid-March, when the closest the calendar had come was Brunei (Brunei! Little ol’ Brunei!) I sat down and flipped through the whole calendar.

Not one day out of the entire 365 days featured anything in Indonesia, a country full of weird and wonderful places. But there was Italy hogging all the glory in June with three days alone.  And Antarctica – Antarctica! – where hardly anyone will visit, merits two days.

It set me to thinking, why is Indonesia often unrepresented on the world stage? Why is it I stand in front of a mural in a large airport, one that has the word ‘welcome’ on it in a dozen languages, and I search in vain for ‘selamat datang’ – a phrase that would be understood by almost 200 million people?

Indonesia is the world’s fourth most populous nation. The world’s largest Muslim nation. And yet, most people don’t seem to know where it is, or much about it beyond the island of Bali.

Granted, I used to be sorely ignorant about this country. When we learned we would be moving to Indonesia, I had to pull out a map to see where exactly on God’s green earth we were going.  The only thing I really knew about Indonesia was that there had been political upset in the late ‘90s. I was sadly uninformed. But as I educated myself I was able to educate others. “South of China, north of Australia,” I would say, like I was giving directions.

I wonder if it’s because Indonesia is an archipelago – a nation of islands, and people often know about individual islands such as Bali, Java, and Sumatra, rather than the nation as a whole. I also wonder, are places in Vietnam and the Philippines better known because the U.S. had conflict there? Or because they’re easier to get to?

If people have heard anything about Indonesia, it’s likely to be about the tsunami of 2004, or volcanic eruptions, or terrorist attacks.

But if that is all you know, you miss so much! 

After almost 17 years of living in this country, I have come to love and appreciate so many things about Indonesia.  Its lush jungles and beautiful beaches. Its diversity of language and culture and traditions. Its many forms of transportation, like bajai and becak and ojek. All the amazing creatures, like rhinoceros beetles and green tree pythons and gibbons and fruit bats and sugar gliders. Food like nasi uduk and soto ayam and sate and gado-gado and jus aplokat. And es buah!  Oh, how I will miss es buah!

Watch out, becak coming through!

Luke participating in a traditional Papuan bowl ceremony at his 8th grade graduation

Isn't he the cutest?

The beautiful Baliem Valley

All my favorites

All the holidays – Idul Fitri and crazy Christmas and New Year’s and Chinese New Year – all celebrated with noise and food and friends.

And the people themselves, with their beautiful smiles and musical language and the wonderful ability not to take themselves too seriously. 

Papuan women at a bakar batu (photo by Grace)

So I promise you, Indonesia, not that you need me or necessarily asked for this, but I promise you I will do all my best to represent you well to those I meet in distant places, those who say, “Indonesia, now where is that? What’s it like?”  I will tell them all about you, and how I grew to love you.  Because you are a place and a people worth knowing and loving.